Who'd You Choose?

 If you were to catch the stars

Or lay under a sky full of stars

If you were to soak in the sun

Or find shade under the umbrella

If you were to stand alone in a crowd

Or be surrounded by your own solace

If you were to laugh with the people

Or let your smile be the only response

If you were to scream a thousand words

Or let your silence make the roar

If you were to help a drowning loved one,

Or stop yourself from falling off the cliff

If you were to let go of your demons,

Or keep fighting your own battles,

If you were to carry all the love in your heart,

Or let your actions speak for you,

If you were to choose kindness for others,

Or get rid of emotional baggage that keeps hurting you.

If you were to follow your ambitions,

Or live on the ones set by your beloveds.

If you were to choose you,

Or choose the ones you love.

Life As We Know It. Maybe Not. #TheLetterSeries

Hi everyone,

Well guess who is back to writing letters? Yes! Me, someone who loves writing, but other responsibilities happened, and this girl barely made time to do what she loved doing the most.

Growing up we are always told that it’s all about managing responsibilities, taking care of people around you and what not (the list goes on)! What we really aren’t told is that it is managing a lot of feelings and emotions and to be compassionate about life, and yourself (very importantly!).

Most days we let our over-burdening responsibilities take over us. In the midst of managing studies, work or home, we tend to forget that we also need ourselves. We need to be kind and compassionate to ourselves, and there is absolutely no harm in that.

It’s absolutely essential to take out time for yourself and be there for yourself only. We get too consumed when we give and give too much of ourselves to the people we love and get exhausted. Be kind to yourself. Do what you love to do; if not every day, then maybe every now and then. Read as much as you want too, whatever you want to, make art, run, workout, watch lame comedy, eat lots of cake and write about what your heart wants. Be happy, be kind and shower some self-love.

Don’t be too critical about life, your decisions, your work, the people you love and most importantly about yourself. Being too strict on yourself can leave you bitter (and the only thing which is bitter the better is coffee). So don’t go there! People will always tell you to give more than what is required and you’ll always end up being exhausted! Don’t drain your energies like that; don’t let yourself be an easy target.

Go out for solo coffee dates, lay under the sky, enroll in a skill development course or just hang out with your friends.

I know, I know what you all absolutely realistic people might be thinking; its real life not a fictional story. Well, we can always take baby steps and move ahead with the idea. Nothing is impossible.

Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong; some things are just meant to be. (Oh the tough luck!) so instead of letting your tough luck drain you,let it toughen your skin and plant your soul. Like I did today. I could’ve dwelled myself in the first shocker of the day and let me blame myself for the rest of the days or I could’ve picked up the diary and started writing (which I did and that’s what you’re reading right now).

Every choice is in your head. Just pick to be kind (“with yourself”: screams silently).

Until next time!

The Right Dose of Positivity #TheLetterSeries

Hey everyone!

I hope you’re all doing well this morning. Here I am sipping some green tea to keep myself warm, and writing this letter to all of you. I am pretty much sitting idle in the office today as there is barely any work today. Sadly, this is the second day of no work and I feel no good about it, plus Mari is also busy so I have no one to have some good and meaningful conversations with (Yes its totally cool interning with your closest friend as you have someone to have lunch with and to be honest she was the one who helped me land here).

I started this year with only one resolution, to be positive. Positive of everything in life and I think that is one reason I feel not good if I am not working at the moment. I feel it is so important to test yourself, to keep pushing yourself and to keep testing your limits.  I could have stopped this internship as my university begun but I wanted to do it along studies because I want to discover how much capable and how much stress I can load myself with. I get no weekends due to classes (thanks to my last semester) but somehow I am glad. I know if some day in my life I get to face circumstance of this sort, I’ll be able to make it through.

I learnt this really cool thing about positivity, it will help you make through things more easily and will leave you with an uncluttered mind.

Do you know what’s the positive of not having to do work right now? It’s writing down this letter, something I simply love doing. Something I was not being able to do at home.

Somehow I feel of all the situations that we face in our lives, be it in personal or professional life, we have completely thrown positivity out of our lives. I am not saying we don’t face hard times, we all do, that’s what life is all about but if we are always ranting or complaining about things than how do we expect to grow? Why not think the other way round? Why not challenge yourself that let’s see how well can I fight this situation, and when you make it through you’ll be the happiest person. You’ll be happy for your own self. And imagine the mental peace it will bring.

Remember, positivity won’t come as a gift from others; it will always be a present that you will have to gift yourself.

Now don’t get me wrong, by being positive I clearly don’t mean start jumping with excitement, instead calm down and think, rationalize and then take decisions. Don’t be afraid to say no (I learnt it a hard way but now it doesn’t seem rude or bad anymore). Don’t simply rush into doing things without thinking. Take time, plan things out but don’t keep planning, implement them and trust me things will work out; you’ll become great at handling multiple things at a time.

Of all the things the most important reminder we all must keep giving ourselves, “No soul is burdened more than it can bear”. It’s the promise of our Creator, then what is the point of being gloomy over situations, be positive always!

Also I am not just penning these things down, but I mean it, I mean it by applying it on myself first.

Enjoy winters, looking forward to a lot of positivity from you all and of course for myself!

Love,

Fizza Malik

New Year Resolution #TheLetterSeries

Hey,

I hope you're doing good and enjoying traces of winter. December is almost close to the end, and like always it has been quite exhausting and busy.

It's funny, isn't it? How people wait for December and it comes and leaves in such a spark. With so many new year resolutions on the list, we still have the previous year's list unchecked. Every passing day we feel time is running short, and there's still so much to achieve, so much to sort out, so many complications to settle down. But the only problem we face is, we are all running out of time. Time is so valuable, and we know its importance but for some odd reason we never tend to make it our priority.

When the time has passed by then we get up from our slumber and realize what could have been achieved, what could have been done in a much better way and what could have been altered completely.

Few days back we saw the news of Junaid Jamshed passing away in a tragic airplane accident, we all wept and cried, it was a national tragedy. We blamed the engines of the plane, the airplane service and bashed what we could. But little do we learn from these harsh realities of life. Look at us now, we are all back to normal like nothing happened. A few days of bashing, crying and now it’s all okay.

What we don’t understand is that none of us know about the next moment, the next breath, whether we will be able to make it or not. We all are running out of time.

In the scenario like this, where we are not even sure of our next breath, we are involved in the wrong doings, we are involved in hatred. How sad is that? We keep ill for others in our heart. Why do we do this? We are all humans, made out of mud and blood.  Do we not understand that having hatred or ill for others in hearts is so self consuming, it can drain us emotionally.

We bring dirt in our hearts for the way they treat us, or for the way they talk to us or there can be many such reasons. But when we turn against them do we realize that we also become the “bad people”, which we claim others are.

Do we tend to rationalize and think what could have been the possible reasons for someone not helping us when we need them, or why someone shouted at us without any reason? Do we think? Do we try to keep ourselves in their position or do we even know what struggle they are going through in that point of time.

Sometimes what we don’t understand is that not all the time someone wants to hurt us, they might have their own reasons.

When we look back we see how Junaid Jamshed was bashed, disliked and at times mocked by many people around us, but little did we know that he’d just pass away so quickly. We don’t know what time lies ahead, we don’t know. And now try to understand the guilt of those people, who might have it in their hearts, who hurt him intentionally or unintentionally.

This is how the cycle of life is, we can never be sure of anything; we are not the best planners. So why indulge in hatred, why consume the best of yourself? Instead of hurting others let’s spread love, let’s spread tolerance. The ability to stand one another despite all the differences, maybe we will learn why the other person was negative towards us. Or why they tried to hurt us, whether they were themselves hurt in that point in time or not.

Instead of making fancy New Year resolutions let’s promise our ownselves to be more accommodating and more understanding of people. Instead of hurting them let’s make peace with them, even if they have offended you. This is tough, I agree, but this isn’t impossible, because remember in the end we are all running out of time, running out of breaths and running out of years from our lives.

Let’s make our ends beautiful ones, because we certainly don’t want to die with dark spots in our hearts.

Wish you all a great year ahead.

Lots of prayers and love,

Fizza.

There's Something about Real Conversations #TheLetterSeries

Greetings to you all,

November came in such a hustle bustle and is leaving us amidst this constant rush. What’s striking is that how quickly time passes. I can still feel how shocked I was on the First of November and I was startled when my friend reminded me that November is ending and I have not yet written any letter for this month.

(Let me tell you, I felt so happy when I realized someone looks forward to my letters).

It’s a beautiful feeling.                    

This sounds so wonderful, doesn’t it? Now think if this would’ve been said on my face, I would have melted with such warmth and such love.

Now, now, don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. It’s just that how the same thing would have made a different impact, sometimes it is just the way things are said.

With each passing day we’ve developed great apps, amazing technology that ensures our communication is always on point and no physical meeting is required to deliver our message. I think that is great and have caused great relaxation in life. It has made communication with distant people much easier and faster.

Of all the great things that social media and easy communication platforms have given us, they are gradually taking away the art of real conversation. Even among people everyone is busy in their smart phones. The ability to hear out someone speak and to sense their feelings as they speak, has gone down. I won’t disagree that I, myself use the phone a lot but I have always tried to ignore it the moment I am among people or when in conversation with someone.

I absolutely love it when two people can talk face to face, when you can see their expressions and feel the emotions.

Though we have our friends’ whatsapp group and we can easily communicate but there’s always a craving to meet. Not exaggerating, we spend hours on the lunch table because we’re so busy talking, listening and in silence feeling how important this entire process is.

Let me tell you, even science say having face to face conversation is important. It ensures confidence, it helps in building better relations and it gives a sense of reliability towards the other person.

“You don’t ever text first.”

I am that one person who gets this complain A LOT! Well this is true, I don’t make great conversations on messages but when it comes face to face conversations, I can talk for hours.

Pretty much old school.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way bashing neither am I against the idea of having social platforms. They have their own charm and in total honesty they have taught me so much, I am grateful but remember giving it the top most priority can have its own downside.

How much sure you are that your internet bestie can pull you out of the darkness? When they are unaware of your actual surroundings, your everyday struggles, they can help you but only to certain extent. Don’t let this happen to you, or you’ll be left alone in the crowd.

Let’s learn to be a little old school in some matters in this life, and trust me you’ll love it when you can be chatty for hours and feel it along the way.

Well that’s it for this time.

Love,

Fizza Malik

The Two Sides to "Don't Judge" #TheLetterSeries

Hey,
So October is here with barely no sign of autumn, especially here in Karachi. I hope you're all doing good, in fact I hope that you're growing stronger with everything that life throws at you.

You know its funny and amusing, how we change with time. I was really fat in my teenage days, and people would call me fat, sometimes they'd also do comparison of my wrist with theirs and laugh. The funny part was that even elders were involved in this. In my later teens, I reduced weight and then the same people would say, "Are you dieting?". See, for a person like me maintaining weight is a constant struggle, so it is a continuous work. My entire point here is that no matter what you do, people will always have something to say, they'll pass judgments on how you appear.
I used to have three times the hair I have now, usually all the elderly ladies around me would simply say "The girls these days damage their hair, with the hair dyes and other equipment." Not that I disagree to this, but the real issue with me is the sinus. The sinus have grown so serious that some days I'd wake up panting in the middle of night, gasping for air but since no one can see that so they'd just blame the other stuff. The doctor says the lack of oxygen is deteriorating the body.

See, the problem is as as a society we've developed the habit of judging.
Oh, the point of discussing my personal life incidents doesn't mean I pity myself nor I want any sympathies, I just hope that we tend to think out of the box and really stop judging on the basis of how someone appear.

Now, this slogan "Don't Judge" can be very tricky and there are two sides to it. Being judgmental won't do you any good but remember you have to know the difference between what's right and what's wrong. You can't cover up your wrong doing under the label of "Don't Judge".
Like you can't make fun of anyone's appearance, similarly you can't say "Don't Judge" if you've stolen something. Being a thief is not at all okay, and you must know its wrong.
Similarly, calling anyone fat is wrong. Do you know what medical condition are they going through? Or what is their back story. So this is wrong, wrong for everyone equally and fully.

Another important thing, always remember your roots, and where you belong to. Your personality, your actions shall determine it. When you say you belong to a certain religion, like we're Muslims so there are certain rights and wrongs which are determined for us. Be it any other religion, one should follow the required norms (not that I am a perfect person, but there's always room for improvement).

Not that I am against human development, but in today's world there is a lot of noise about doing "whatever pleases your own self", in the name of human development. Of course you're free to do what you can do best but as being a Muslim do you think wearing short dresses or talking about your sex life is human development? Or if we call ourselves Muslim and then do what's not allowed, where do we actually stand? Then we have to rationalize and decide what side we're on.

See, empowerment is developing the brain and is not hidden in clothes or how we behave. When we ourselves are so confused, then what will we give to our future generations? Do we just want to give them a hashtag of ""Don't Judge" or actually teach them what's wrong and what's right.

Think, rationalize and make your decision.

Until next time.
Take care of yourselves.

Love,
Fizza Malik

The Lost Happiness. #TheLetterSeries

Hey you,

So this has been a long due, every time I’d start writing something I would end up in the middle, unsure about what to say next, or whether anything makes sense or not.

September is already here, this means only four more moths left and another year gone by. At times I find it hard to believe that time passes by so quickly. We must learn to utilize it completely. I can still see all those things listed up which are yet to be achieved, yet to be touched and somehow I always end up saying that I had no time to do so.

I had become so used to of calling 2016 a bad year. With heart breaks, with getting over with people who simply used me for their personal benefits, for all the things that have caused unease, for all the nights spent in restlessness, for all the death news which shook my heart. I had declared 2016 a bad, bad year.

The human mind is set in an interesting way, you see one moment we’re sad and the very next moment we’re the happiest person on the planet. So you see, somewhere between that I thought of all the good things that had happened.  To travel by train after 7 years, to watching the crystal clear blue sea of Kund Malir. From shopping till making it to the final year of university. All the time spent with friends, to an unplanned road trip, to every little thing that made me smile, I realized 2016 isn’t that bad.

Sooner or later, you’ll learn that people who are meant to stay will make their own way in your life and who tend to leave will leave without any reason. So it’s kind of better if they leave soon, isn’t that good, less drama in your life. I mean thanks Allah for reducing the useless stress from our already burdened souls.  Well, life is pretty much about generating positivity from the little things that we forget.

How much do we love the sound of rain, how wonderful it feels to walk bare feet on the sand by the shore? How contagious is a baby’s smile. How much happiness a plate of biryani holds? Why do we always have to focus on the everything big? Why do people say happiness is so hard to find? I feel it is very easy to find, just pick up your favorite book, and there you go smiling, all the memories attached to it comes flooding through.

The sound of your friend over a phone call can reduce your stress in seconds. Counting stars can make you smile. Happiness is not chemistry or physics nor philosophy. You don’t need to think a lot to understand it. You are responsible for your own happiness; don’t rely in people for that.

Go, start a workout regime, you’ll be so happy to be doing good for you own self. Try seeking positivity out of everything and smile, because you look beautiful when you smile.

Many prayers.

Love,

Fizza Malik.