Who'd You Choose?

 If you were to catch the stars

Or lay under a sky full of stars

If you were to soak in the sun

Or find shade under the umbrella

If you were to stand alone in a crowd

Or be surrounded by your own solace

If you were to laugh with the people

Or let your smile be the only response

If you were to scream a thousand words

Or let your silence make the roar

If you were to help a drowning loved one,

Or stop yourself from falling off the cliff

If you were to let go of your demons,

Or keep fighting your own battles,

If you were to carry all the love in your heart,

Or let your actions speak for you,

If you were to choose kindness for others,

Or get rid of emotional baggage that keeps hurting you.

If you were to follow your ambitions,

Or live on the ones set by your beloveds.

If you were to choose you,

Or choose the ones you love.

Life As We Know It. Maybe Not. #TheLetterSeries

Hi everyone,

Well guess who is back to writing letters? Yes! Me, someone who loves writing, but other responsibilities happened, and this girl barely made time to do what she loved doing the most.

Growing up we are always told that it’s all about managing responsibilities, taking care of people around you and what not (the list goes on)! What we really aren’t told is that it is managing a lot of feelings and emotions and to be compassionate about life, and yourself (very importantly!).

Most days we let our over-burdening responsibilities take over us. In the midst of managing studies, work or home, we tend to forget that we also need ourselves. We need to be kind and compassionate to ourselves, and there is absolutely no harm in that.

It’s absolutely essential to take out time for yourself and be there for yourself only. We get too consumed when we give and give too much of ourselves to the people we love and get exhausted. Be kind to yourself. Do what you love to do; if not every day, then maybe every now and then. Read as much as you want too, whatever you want to, make art, run, workout, watch lame comedy, eat lots of cake and write about what your heart wants. Be happy, be kind and shower some self-love.

Don’t be too critical about life, your decisions, your work, the people you love and most importantly about yourself. Being too strict on yourself can leave you bitter (and the only thing which is bitter the better is coffee). So don’t go there! People will always tell you to give more than what is required and you’ll always end up being exhausted! Don’t drain your energies like that; don’t let yourself be an easy target.

Go out for solo coffee dates, lay under the sky, enroll in a skill development course or just hang out with your friends.

I know, I know what you all absolutely realistic people might be thinking; its real life not a fictional story. Well, we can always take baby steps and move ahead with the idea. Nothing is impossible.

Stop blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong; some things are just meant to be. (Oh the tough luck!) so instead of letting your tough luck drain you,let it toughen your skin and plant your soul. Like I did today. I could’ve dwelled myself in the first shocker of the day and let me blame myself for the rest of the days or I could’ve picked up the diary and started writing (which I did and that’s what you’re reading right now).

Every choice is in your head. Just pick to be kind (“with yourself”: screams silently).

Until next time!

The Right Dose of Positivity #TheLetterSeries

Hey everyone!

I hope you’re all doing well this morning. Here I am sipping some green tea to keep myself warm, and writing this letter to all of you. I am pretty much sitting idle in the office today as there is barely any work today. Sadly, this is the second day of no work and I feel no good about it, plus Mari is also busy so I have no one to have some good and meaningful conversations with (Yes its totally cool interning with your closest friend as you have someone to have lunch with and to be honest she was the one who helped me land here).

I started this year with only one resolution, to be positive. Positive of everything in life and I think that is one reason I feel not good if I am not working at the moment. I feel it is so important to test yourself, to keep pushing yourself and to keep testing your limits.  I could have stopped this internship as my university begun but I wanted to do it along studies because I want to discover how much capable and how much stress I can load myself with. I get no weekends due to classes (thanks to my last semester) but somehow I am glad. I know if some day in my life I get to face circumstance of this sort, I’ll be able to make it through.

I learnt this really cool thing about positivity, it will help you make through things more easily and will leave you with an uncluttered mind.

Do you know what’s the positive of not having to do work right now? It’s writing down this letter, something I simply love doing. Something I was not being able to do at home.

Somehow I feel of all the situations that we face in our lives, be it in personal or professional life, we have completely thrown positivity out of our lives. I am not saying we don’t face hard times, we all do, that’s what life is all about but if we are always ranting or complaining about things than how do we expect to grow? Why not think the other way round? Why not challenge yourself that let’s see how well can I fight this situation, and when you make it through you’ll be the happiest person. You’ll be happy for your own self. And imagine the mental peace it will bring.

Remember, positivity won’t come as a gift from others; it will always be a present that you will have to gift yourself.

Now don’t get me wrong, by being positive I clearly don’t mean start jumping with excitement, instead calm down and think, rationalize and then take decisions. Don’t be afraid to say no (I learnt it a hard way but now it doesn’t seem rude or bad anymore). Don’t simply rush into doing things without thinking. Take time, plan things out but don’t keep planning, implement them and trust me things will work out; you’ll become great at handling multiple things at a time.

Of all the things the most important reminder we all must keep giving ourselves, “No soul is burdened more than it can bear”. It’s the promise of our Creator, then what is the point of being gloomy over situations, be positive always!

Also I am not just penning these things down, but I mean it, I mean it by applying it on myself first.

Enjoy winters, looking forward to a lot of positivity from you all and of course for myself!

Love,

Fizza Malik

New Year Resolution #TheLetterSeries

Hey,

I hope you're doing good and enjoying traces of winter. December is almost close to the end, and like always it has been quite exhausting and busy.

It's funny, isn't it? How people wait for December and it comes and leaves in such a spark. With so many new year resolutions on the list, we still have the previous year's list unchecked. Every passing day we feel time is running short, and there's still so much to achieve, so much to sort out, so many complications to settle down. But the only problem we face is, we are all running out of time. Time is so valuable, and we know its importance but for some odd reason we never tend to make it our priority.

When the time has passed by then we get up from our slumber and realize what could have been achieved, what could have been done in a much better way and what could have been altered completely.

Few days back we saw the news of Junaid Jamshed passing away in a tragic airplane accident, we all wept and cried, it was a national tragedy. We blamed the engines of the plane, the airplane service and bashed what we could. But little do we learn from these harsh realities of life. Look at us now, we are all back to normal like nothing happened. A few days of bashing, crying and now it’s all okay.

What we don’t understand is that none of us know about the next moment, the next breath, whether we will be able to make it or not. We all are running out of time.

In the scenario like this, where we are not even sure of our next breath, we are involved in the wrong doings, we are involved in hatred. How sad is that? We keep ill for others in our heart. Why do we do this? We are all humans, made out of mud and blood.  Do we not understand that having hatred or ill for others in hearts is so self consuming, it can drain us emotionally.

We bring dirt in our hearts for the way they treat us, or for the way they talk to us or there can be many such reasons. But when we turn against them do we realize that we also become the “bad people”, which we claim others are.

Do we tend to rationalize and think what could have been the possible reasons for someone not helping us when we need them, or why someone shouted at us without any reason? Do we think? Do we try to keep ourselves in their position or do we even know what struggle they are going through in that point of time.

Sometimes what we don’t understand is that not all the time someone wants to hurt us, they might have their own reasons.

When we look back we see how Junaid Jamshed was bashed, disliked and at times mocked by many people around us, but little did we know that he’d just pass away so quickly. We don’t know what time lies ahead, we don’t know. And now try to understand the guilt of those people, who might have it in their hearts, who hurt him intentionally or unintentionally.

This is how the cycle of life is, we can never be sure of anything; we are not the best planners. So why indulge in hatred, why consume the best of yourself? Instead of hurting others let’s spread love, let’s spread tolerance. The ability to stand one another despite all the differences, maybe we will learn why the other person was negative towards us. Or why they tried to hurt us, whether they were themselves hurt in that point in time or not.

Instead of making fancy New Year resolutions let’s promise our ownselves to be more accommodating and more understanding of people. Instead of hurting them let’s make peace with them, even if they have offended you. This is tough, I agree, but this isn’t impossible, because remember in the end we are all running out of time, running out of breaths and running out of years from our lives.

Let’s make our ends beautiful ones, because we certainly don’t want to die with dark spots in our hearts.

Wish you all a great year ahead.

Lots of prayers and love,

Fizza.

There's Something about Real Conversations #TheLetterSeries

Greetings to you all,

November came in such a hustle bustle and is leaving us amidst this constant rush. What’s striking is that how quickly time passes. I can still feel how shocked I was on the First of November and I was startled when my friend reminded me that November is ending and I have not yet written any letter for this month.

(Let me tell you, I felt so happy when I realized someone looks forward to my letters).

It’s a beautiful feeling.                    

This sounds so wonderful, doesn’t it? Now think if this would’ve been said on my face, I would have melted with such warmth and such love.

Now, now, don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining. It’s just that how the same thing would have made a different impact, sometimes it is just the way things are said.

With each passing day we’ve developed great apps, amazing technology that ensures our communication is always on point and no physical meeting is required to deliver our message. I think that is great and have caused great relaxation in life. It has made communication with distant people much easier and faster.

Of all the great things that social media and easy communication platforms have given us, they are gradually taking away the art of real conversation. Even among people everyone is busy in their smart phones. The ability to hear out someone speak and to sense their feelings as they speak, has gone down. I won’t disagree that I, myself use the phone a lot but I have always tried to ignore it the moment I am among people or when in conversation with someone.

I absolutely love it when two people can talk face to face, when you can see their expressions and feel the emotions.

Though we have our friends’ whatsapp group and we can easily communicate but there’s always a craving to meet. Not exaggerating, we spend hours on the lunch table because we’re so busy talking, listening and in silence feeling how important this entire process is.

Let me tell you, even science say having face to face conversation is important. It ensures confidence, it helps in building better relations and it gives a sense of reliability towards the other person.

“You don’t ever text first.”

I am that one person who gets this complain A LOT! Well this is true, I don’t make great conversations on messages but when it comes face to face conversations, I can talk for hours.

Pretty much old school.

Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way bashing neither am I against the idea of having social platforms. They have their own charm and in total honesty they have taught me so much, I am grateful but remember giving it the top most priority can have its own downside.

How much sure you are that your internet bestie can pull you out of the darkness? When they are unaware of your actual surroundings, your everyday struggles, they can help you but only to certain extent. Don’t let this happen to you, or you’ll be left alone in the crowd.

Let’s learn to be a little old school in some matters in this life, and trust me you’ll love it when you can be chatty for hours and feel it along the way.

Well that’s it for this time.

Love,

Fizza Malik

The Two Sides to "Don't Judge" #TheLetterSeries

Hey,
So October is here with barely no sign of autumn, especially here in Karachi. I hope you're all doing good, in fact I hope that you're growing stronger with everything that life throws at you.

You know its funny and amusing, how we change with time. I was really fat in my teenage days, and people would call me fat, sometimes they'd also do comparison of my wrist with theirs and laugh. The funny part was that even elders were involved in this. In my later teens, I reduced weight and then the same people would say, "Are you dieting?". See, for a person like me maintaining weight is a constant struggle, so it is a continuous work. My entire point here is that no matter what you do, people will always have something to say, they'll pass judgments on how you appear.
I used to have three times the hair I have now, usually all the elderly ladies around me would simply say "The girls these days damage their hair, with the hair dyes and other equipment." Not that I disagree to this, but the real issue with me is the sinus. The sinus have grown so serious that some days I'd wake up panting in the middle of night, gasping for air but since no one can see that so they'd just blame the other stuff. The doctor says the lack of oxygen is deteriorating the body.

See, the problem is as as a society we've developed the habit of judging.
Oh, the point of discussing my personal life incidents doesn't mean I pity myself nor I want any sympathies, I just hope that we tend to think out of the box and really stop judging on the basis of how someone appear.

Now, this slogan "Don't Judge" can be very tricky and there are two sides to it. Being judgmental won't do you any good but remember you have to know the difference between what's right and what's wrong. You can't cover up your wrong doing under the label of "Don't Judge".
Like you can't make fun of anyone's appearance, similarly you can't say "Don't Judge" if you've stolen something. Being a thief is not at all okay, and you must know its wrong.
Similarly, calling anyone fat is wrong. Do you know what medical condition are they going through? Or what is their back story. So this is wrong, wrong for everyone equally and fully.

Another important thing, always remember your roots, and where you belong to. Your personality, your actions shall determine it. When you say you belong to a certain religion, like we're Muslims so there are certain rights and wrongs which are determined for us. Be it any other religion, one should follow the required norms (not that I am a perfect person, but there's always room for improvement).

Not that I am against human development, but in today's world there is a lot of noise about doing "whatever pleases your own self", in the name of human development. Of course you're free to do what you can do best but as being a Muslim do you think wearing short dresses or talking about your sex life is human development? Or if we call ourselves Muslim and then do what's not allowed, where do we actually stand? Then we have to rationalize and decide what side we're on.

See, empowerment is developing the brain and is not hidden in clothes or how we behave. When we ourselves are so confused, then what will we give to our future generations? Do we just want to give them a hashtag of ""Don't Judge" or actually teach them what's wrong and what's right.

Think, rationalize and make your decision.

Until next time.
Take care of yourselves.

Love,
Fizza Malik

The Lost Happiness. #TheLetterSeries

Hey you,

So this has been a long due, every time I’d start writing something I would end up in the middle, unsure about what to say next, or whether anything makes sense or not.

September is already here, this means only four more moths left and another year gone by. At times I find it hard to believe that time passes by so quickly. We must learn to utilize it completely. I can still see all those things listed up which are yet to be achieved, yet to be touched and somehow I always end up saying that I had no time to do so.

I had become so used to of calling 2016 a bad year. With heart breaks, with getting over with people who simply used me for their personal benefits, for all the things that have caused unease, for all the nights spent in restlessness, for all the death news which shook my heart. I had declared 2016 a bad, bad year.

The human mind is set in an interesting way, you see one moment we’re sad and the very next moment we’re the happiest person on the planet. So you see, somewhere between that I thought of all the good things that had happened.  To travel by train after 7 years, to watching the crystal clear blue sea of Kund Malir. From shopping till making it to the final year of university. All the time spent with friends, to an unplanned road trip, to every little thing that made me smile, I realized 2016 isn’t that bad.

Sooner or later, you’ll learn that people who are meant to stay will make their own way in your life and who tend to leave will leave without any reason. So it’s kind of better if they leave soon, isn’t that good, less drama in your life. I mean thanks Allah for reducing the useless stress from our already burdened souls.  Well, life is pretty much about generating positivity from the little things that we forget.

How much do we love the sound of rain, how wonderful it feels to walk bare feet on the sand by the shore? How contagious is a baby’s smile. How much happiness a plate of biryani holds? Why do we always have to focus on the everything big? Why do people say happiness is so hard to find? I feel it is very easy to find, just pick up your favorite book, and there you go smiling, all the memories attached to it comes flooding through.

The sound of your friend over a phone call can reduce your stress in seconds. Counting stars can make you smile. Happiness is not chemistry or physics nor philosophy. You don’t need to think a lot to understand it. You are responsible for your own happiness; don’t rely in people for that.

Go, start a workout regime, you’ll be so happy to be doing good for you own self. Try seeking positivity out of everything and smile, because you look beautiful when you smile.

Many prayers.

Love,

Fizza Malik.

Fighting the Inner Good and Bad

She had always been in love with dawn and midnight, where she could listen to the peaceful silence of mind under the starry night and feel a quiet conscience erupting with the chirping of birds, as the sunrise painted the sky to pink. How weird it was to love the extremes, the absolute opposites. Both these times had one thing in common; peace and serenity. She had always loved peace. The tranquility and silent subtleness enabled her to enjoy many things which were shunned during the bustle of the day. She could think, rationalize and put herself to peace in stillness of these times.

She thought about herself, about people who were in her life whether by force or by fate. She also thought about the achievements and the failures, the lessons and the moments and what not. But most importantly, she thought about circumstances life taught her and made who she was today.

She reflected upon the good and the bad people. According to her, worst kind of people were who wore a mask, hypocrites. But then again aren’t we all hypocrites? We hide our happiness, our sadness, our goodness, our evilness and our jealousies. It was clear to her that worst kinds of people were those who hid their devilish face behind the beautiful mask.

There are people who broke hearts, use people for their interests but everyone does that these days. Things have been confusing for her. Who are the bad people? Being good requires no efforts, but being bad, being hurtful is an all time job. How can one think about lies to keep up with previous lies? Does it not consume one to have hatred, dirt for the other person in the heart? Isn't such heart heavily filled with the burden of uneasiness and anxiety? How much it requires using the other person? How many times one just has to be sugar coated to get the work done.

Isn't this all tiring? How much discomfort is it to sleep with such a burdened soul?

She hasn't forgotten the moments when she had asked for strength and more power in Sujood, asking Allah to make her strong. Don't we all do that? Ask for more strength, more sturdy nerves, but how will we ever achieve toughness if we are not tested? No matter how much people had hurt her, she had been thankful to them for making her much stronger than ever before. Sometimes such people are test from Allah and sometimes stupidity of our own. We become so blind we can't see the hole that has been dug for us. 

Quran states in Surah Baqarah, "Allah does not burden a soul beyond what it can bear" But, oh our humanly ego won't get satisfaction until and unless we don't over burden ourselves. Only God knows why we want to prove ourselves superior to others? Why can't we focus on ourselves? When our own raised burdens tear us down, we end up hating ourselves, people and everything attached in-between. 

This ayah is comforting because she knows deep in my heart that although the sadness is cumbersome, it will not be overwhelming; that although the times might be tough, she is tougher; and that whatever comes her way will go away.

Hate is evil; it consumes the whole of you. Just like being abominable, hate also requires too much enmity and too much destruction. The hostility and animosity will not only burn the one you hate but also your own-self first. She had learnt not to hate, with time. For her, there were people who either mattered or the ones who didn't. Some words meant a world to her and some didn't even matter.

She had become like this with the passage of time, she liked extremes. Either people were in her heart completely or they were out unconditionally.

Castle in the Sky.

If you don’t love someone let them go, don’t worry if they get heartbroken; they’ll survive.

If you don’t want the conversation going, end it; don’t worry what the other might think of you.

If you don’t want to walk an extra mile for someone, stop the walk; don’t worry about them getting disappointed.

If you don’t want someone to expect from you, tell them, don’t worry they’ll learn to be strong.

If you don’t want to mingle in the crowd, stand apart, don’t worry; they’ll learn the differences.

If you don’t want to be someone’s strength, confess to them, don’t worry; they’ll stand on their own.

If you can’t give them hope, don’t give them false hopes, don’t worry; they’ll learn to sail their own ship.

Because of all the things, no one deserves to be given false hopes. The fast they take you on heights, the faster they tear you down.

Be You Own Hero

Some days you're just confused, your mind knows the answer but your body is just fearful to take any step. Your politeness can ruin you at times, can shatter your mental peace, the everyday fight you have with yourself can leave you bruised and exhausted. You know the truth, you want to say it but you know it can be disastrous, causing chaos.

With time you realize it's hard to be people's person. When people put their trust in you beyond your capacity, expect from you and you on the other hand, aren't the exact same person they see you for. IT IS HARD! Mainly, exhausting. But deep down you know you have to speak out the truth.

But hey, here's the thing about truth, it will leave you broken for a day, or two, a month or more but it will bring you peace. Not only will it heal you but the other person. Instead of all the false hopes its better to come out clean!

So don't be afraid, build up courage and say what you have to say, instead of waiting for the storm to pass, ruining everything that comes in way. Be your own hero and don't fail yourself!        

رکشہ کہانی

رکشے سے اتر کر وہ جتنی جلدی گھر داخل ہوسکتی تھی اور دروازہ کی کنڈی لگا سکتی تھی اس نے کیا، آج اسے رکشے میں سفر کر کے واقعی خوف محسوس ہوا تھا۔ ایسا نہیں تھا اسے رکشوں میں سفر کی عادت نہیں تھی، وہ رکشوں میں سفر کرتے کرتے بڑی ہوئی تھی، اور نہ ہی اکیلے آنے جانے مین اسے خوف محسوس ہوا تھا۔

اسے کچھ دن پہلے یونیورسٹی سے کیے گئے رکشہ سواری کی یاد آگئی۔ میک اپ سے عاری چہرہ، لباس بھی ہر قسم کی عیاری سے پاک، سمٹے بال اور ڈوپٹے میں لپٹی وہ۔

“بھائی زمزمہ جانا ہے، کتنے پیسے لیں گے؟“

ڈھائی سو سن کر وہ مطمئن ہوگئی کیونکہ باقیوں کی نسبت یہ مناسب کرایہ تھا۔ رکشہ کا سفر جیسے آغاز ہوا، اسے ریویو مررز اپنی طرف مرتے محسوس ہوگئے تھے، آدھی شکل جو ڈوپٹے میں چھپی تھی وہ اب مکمل طور پر چھپ چکی تھی۔ اسے معلوم تھا وہ ایک معمولی شکل کی مالک تھی، مگر شکل معمولی ہو یا خاص معاشرے میں عموماً مردانہ رویہ اکثر اوقات ایسا ہی رہا ہے۔

اسے رکشہ کی رفتار بھی معمول سے ہلکی محسوس ہوئی۔ خیر وہ بھی سخت چہرے کے ساتھ بیٹھی رہی اور ہر بار کی طرح دل ہی دل میں دعائیں پڑھتی رہی۔ تھوڑا آگے بڑھ کر اسے اسے یہ اندازہ بھی ہوگیا تھا کہ رکشے والے نے راستہ بھی لمبا اختیار کیا ہے، جس پر اس نے ڈرائیور کو عارے ہاتھوں لیا تھا، راستوں کا علم ہونے کے باعث اسے بہت بار مشکلات سے بچنے میں آسانی ہوئی تھی۔

بے حد ہلکی رفتار اور ضرورت سے لمبے راستے کو طے کرنے کے بعد وہ اپنی منزل پر پہنچ تو گئی مگر کس عذاب سے گزر کر، یہ وہی جانتی ہے۔

پھر لوگ کہتے ہیں رکشہ تو عورتوں کی سواری ہے۔ ایسی سواری جس میں وہ تحفظ بھی محسوس نہ کریں؟

She learnt...

She learnt to smile with the world and laugh with people who didn't mean anything to her. She mastered in fake smiles and excelled at normal talks.

She learnt only a few mattered and they didn't need you perfect all the time. They understand the sadness in your eyes even when you laugh.

She learnt that this was not being hypocrite, it's just that she wasn't ready for meaningless drama in life. 

نانا نانی کی یاد میں۔۔۔

انسان بھی بے حد عجیب ہوتا ہے، ہر وقت اپنے آپ سے لڑ رہا ہوتا ہے۔ اکثر تو اپنے آپ احساسات سے لڑ لیتا ہے اور کبھی اس کے احساسات جیت جاتے ہیں اور اس پر حاوی ہو جاتے ہیں۔

زندگی کے جھمیلوں میں شاید نانا نانی کی یادوں کو وقتی طور پر بھول ضرور جاتی ہوں مگر جب انکی یاد آتی ہے تو دل ہر چیز سے اچاٹ ہو جاتا ہے۔ آج نانی کو اور پھر ٢٤ کو نانا کو اس دنیا سے رخصت ہوئے تیرہ سال ہوجائیں گے مگر آج بھی ان کے ساتھ گزرے پلوں کی مہک مجھے بے حد عزیز ہے۔

جب ان کا انتقال ہوا تو میں بہت چھوٹی تھی، زندگی کو، لوگوں کو، محبت کو شاےد سمجھنے کی اہل نہ تھی۔ کبھی کبھار میں سوچتی ہوں کہ کاش مجھے ان کا سایہ دیر تک ملتا مگر الله بہترین منصوبے بنانے والا ہے۔

نانا نانی کی وفات کے بعد ہم نے لاہور جانا کم کردیا، اب تو شاید کوئی بے چینی بھی نہیں ہوتی، ورنہ بچپن میں گرمیوں کی تعطیلات لاہور ہی گزرا کرتی تھیں۔

آج بھی مجھے یاد ہے، نانا عصر کے بعد قرآن پڑھا کرتے تھے اور ہم کزنز کو ہر وقت کھیلتا کودتا دیکھ کر کہا کرتے تھے “یہ جوڑی نامعقولوں کی لاحول ولا“، یا پھر ہماری شیطانیوں پر کوئی شعر سنا دیا کرتے تھے۔

گھر کے سامنے ہی بازار تھا، ہر دوسرے دن شام کو کھیل کود کے بعد نانا کے سامنے جلیبیوں اور سموسوں کی فرمائش ڈال دینا اور انھیں کھا کے بھی الگ خوشی ہوتی تھی۔ نانا ہمیشہ “فوکس“ ٹوفی کھایا کرتی تھے، جسکا ڈبہ وہ اپنی الماری میں رکھا کرتے تھے اور شاید یہی وجہ ہے کہ مجھے بھی آج فوکس پسند ہے۔ خیر جب جب وہ الماری کھولا کرتے تھے، تب تب ہم فوکس کھانے کی فرمائش کرتے تھے، جسے وہ پورا کرتے تھے،

لیکن سب سے زیادہ مجھے نانی کی یاد آتی ہے، میں نے ایک سال میں ان کی صحت کو گرتا دیکھا ہے۔ نانی کو کینسر نے ایک سال میں ہی نڈھال کر دیا۔

نانی نے میرے بہت نخرے اٹھائے ہیں، کوئی لاھور سے کراچی آئے جائے اس کے ہاتھ میرے لئے کپڑے سی سی کر بھیجنا، اور جب ہم لاہور جاتے تھے تو انکی الماری کے ایک خانے میں میرے لئے کپڑے ہوا کرتے تھے، جو انھوں نے میرے لئے سیئے ہوتے تھے۔ میرے علاوہ ہم سب بچوں کے نخرے اٹھانا اور اچھی اچھی باتیں بتانا۔

آج بھی مجھے ٢٠٠٢ کا جون جولائی یاد ہے، چونکہ نانی کو چلنے پھرنے میں دقت ہوتی تھی تو روز رات کھانے کے بعد ہم سب بچے بڑے مل کر نانا نانی کے کمرے میں محفل جماتے تھے۔ بچپن کا دور تھا میں بھی بڑھ چڑھ کر لطیفے سنایا کرتی تھی۔ سب خوش ہوتے تھے، نانی بھی۔ ہماری واپسی سے ایک رات قبل نانی نے سب کے سامنے مجھ سے کہا، “میری بیٹی بن جاؤ۔“ جس کا جواب اقرار تھا، اور پھر انھوں نے سب کزنز کو کہا “آج سے یہ تمھاری چھوٹی پھوپھو ہے۔“ آج بھی کوئی چھوٹی پھوپھو یا ماموں بناسپتی بہن کہتے ہیں تو صرف نانی کی یاد ہی آتی ہے۔

آج بھی انہی طرح کے دنوں میں سے ایک دن ہے، انسان کی زندگی کی بےثباتی کا کسی کو کیا معلوم، صرف یادیں ہی تو پیچھے رہ جاتی ہیں۔

بارش۔۔۔

آج وہ خوش تھی, اسے ایسی بارش پسند تھی. بجلی بھی چمکے جارہی تھی مگر آج وہ اسے ڈرا نہیں رہی تھی. بارش کی باریک کنیوں کے ساتھ ہلکی ہلکی ہوا بھی اس کا چہرہ چوم رہی تھی. وہ بارش کی دیوانی تھی اور آج بے انتہا انتظار کے بعد بادل برس رہے تھے. کبھی کبھار انسان کچھ بھی سوچنا نہیں چاہتا, بس بنا کچھ سوچے, بنا کچھ سمجھے محسوس کرنا چاہتا ہے. اور آج شاید وہ یہی کر رہی تھی.

انسان

انسان کو الله نے جتنی نعمتوں سے نوازا ہے اور کسی مخلوق کو اتنا شرف نہیں بخشا، مگر اتنا آزاد ہونے کے بعد بھی انسان قید ہے۔ انسان بلندیوں پہ ہوتے ہوئے بھی پستیوں میں ہے۔ مسکراتے ہوئے بھی 

آنسوؤں میں ہے۔ انسان روشنیوں میں ہوتے ہوئے بھی اندھیروں میں ہے۔

تیز رفتار میں چلتے ہوئے بھی ہلکا ہے۔ شور میں ہوتے ہوئے بھی خاموشیوں میں ہے۔ دال کھاتے ہوئے سوچتا ہے مرغ مسلم کیوں نہیں ملا؟ یہ نہیں سوچتا کتنوں کو یہ بھی نصیب نہیں ہوتی۔ اردو آتی ہے مگر سوچتا ہے مجھے انگریزی کیوں نہیں آتی؟ یہ نہیں سوچتا کہ انگریزوں کے علاوہ بھی کسی کو پیدائش سے نہیں آتی۔ مری گھومنے جائے گا تو سوچے گا یورپ کیوں نہیں؟ یہ نہیں سوچتا کتنے لوگ زندگی بھر اپنی گلی کوچوں سے نہیں نکل پاتے۔ کوئی پرواہ کرے تو مزید چاہتا ہے، یہ نہیں سوچتا کہ کتنوں کو تو کوئی پیار سے بھی نہیں پکارتا۔ کوئی محبت سے بات کرتا ہے تو شک کرتا  ہے ، جو پرواہ نہیں کرتا اس کے پیچھے بھاگتا ہے۔

نسان دل و دماغ کی عجیب و غریب کشمکش میں مبتلا ہے۔ ابھی قدم رکھنا سیکھتا نہیں ہے اور چھلانگ لگانے کی تیاری کر رہا ہوتا ہے۔

انسان ہر وقت اور، مزید کی بھوک میں رہتا ہے، جو بھوک کبھی نہیں مٹ سکتی۔ پلیٹ مین جو ہے اسے نہیں کھاتا ۔

اتنا خوشقسمت ہونے کے باوجود کیوں ہے انسان ایسا؟

#PASAwards15

In the racy-pacey era of today where there are great number of channels available for branding and advertising, sure it may seem as a brighter opportunity but with greater power comes greater responsibility. Companies and agencies now just can’t throw in different campaigns, they need to bring the best out of them and keep doing their homework.

In order to keep this flow going Pakistan Advertising Society has played its role, PAS Awards not only recognizes the best campaigns but trigger companies to go beyond the benchmark.

Keeping up with the same trend PAS Awards 2015, not only had glitz & glam, sparkly venue, amazing performances by Rachel Viccaji, Khalid Malik, Bushra Ansari and the legendary Zia Moiuddin, fun activities and goodies for the attendees but it also had awards for the best campaigns of the year. The awards with their categories are listed below;

CATEGORY	BRAND
Automotive and Transport	Corolla
Banking & Financial Services	HBL
Beverages – Cold	PEPSI
Beverages – Hot	Brooke Bond Pearl Dust
Breakfast, Food and Dairy	OlpersEcolean
Confectionery and Snacks	ChilliMili
Cosmetics and Personal Care (Men, Women and Children)	LUX
CSR & Public Service	Reprieve / Foundation for Fundamental Rights
Culinary	Mezan
Fabric Care, Home Care and Furnishing	Surf Excel
Hospitals, Healthcare and Hygiene	ShaukatKhanum Memorial Cancer Hospital and Research Centre
Hotels, Fastfood& Restaurants	Espresso
Ice Creams and Deserts	Cornetto
Media	DAWN National Spelling Bee
Others – Education	British council IELTS
Telecommunication Hardware and Consumer Electronics	Kenwood
Telecommunication Service Providers	Ufone
Textile, Fashion and Accessories	Servis
Best in Digital	Reprieve / Foundation for Fundamental Rights
Passion for Pakistan	HBL
BTL Activation	Coca-Cola
Media Innovation	Reprieve / Foundation for Fundamental Rights
Platform Award – Best in TV	Kenwood
Platform Award – Best in Print	Ponds
Platform Award – Best in Outdoor	Reprieve / Foundation for Fundamental Rights
Campaign of the Year	Kenwood
Best Nationally originated Campaign	Kenwood

Lastly and most importantly, thanks to the official social media partners of PAS Awards’15, TDF (The Digital Factory) for inviting us (me and some other awesome fellow bloggers, of course) to the glittery event.

Cheers!

Some Glimpses from the event:

سرد سیاہ رات۔۔

ہر روز صبح گھر کے باہر وین کا انتظار کرتے ہوئے آغاز دن کے ڈھیڑ سارے مناظر دیکھتی ہوں, مگر جو ہر بار مجھے سوچنے پر مجبور کرتا ہے, جسے دیکھ کر دل دکھتا ہے وہ کچڑا اٹھانے والے اس معصوم بچہ پر جو ابھی بمشکل سات آٹھ برس کا ہوگا.

آج سے ایک سال پہلے وہ پیارا سا بچہ عیدوں پر نئے کپڑے پہن کر بس عیدی لینے آیا کرتا تھا اب وہ روز کچڑا اٹھانے آتا ہے. اپنی ذات سے وزنی کچڑا اٹھائے ہوے, بہت محنت سے کام کرتا ہے. آج تک ماتھے پر ایک شکن تک نہیں دیکھی. مین سوچتی ہون کہ ہم کیسے انسان ہیں ناشکرے, بہترین زندگی گزارنے کے باوجود نہیں ہیں اور دوسری طرف لوگ تعلیم جیسی بنیادی ضرورت تک سے دور ہیں

پھر آج ٹی وی پر پشاور کے اسکول پر حملہ کی خبر دیکھ کر دل ڈوب سا گیا. ہم کیسے انسان ہیں؟ یہ کیسا ظلم ہے؟ سیاست, حکمرانیت کے بیچ بچے کہاں سے آئے؟

اک لمحہ کو خود اس جگہ رکھیں, روح کانپ جاتی ہے. ہم کہاں کھڑے ہیں اور کیا کر رہے ہین کچھ پتا نہیں ہے. وہاں دن دھاڑے بے رحمی سے خون بہایا جا رہا ہے مگر ہم اس پر بھی سیاست کر رہے ہیں, کیا ہوگیا ہے ہمیں؟

آخر جنگ ہے کس کی؟ مال کی, کرسی کی, سیاست کی یا دہشتگردی کی؟ یا ہم نے اپنوں کے خلاف ہی سارے محاذ کھول رکھے ہیں؟

کہاں تعلیم حاصل کرنے کو میں بنیادی ضرورت کہ رہی تھی کہاں ماں باپ اب اپنی اولاد کو اسکول بھیجنے پر بھی ہزار بار سوچیں گے. ایسا سلوک تو جانوروں کے ساتھ نہیں کیا جاتا.

آخر اپنی جنگ میں دوسروں کے گھر اجارنے کا حق کس نے دیا؟

Reckless in the Fortnight...

Beneath the dark sky on a starless night,

The curious moon sings a lullaby;

Wind kisses the face, reckless in the fortnight.

Standing there with the guilts, lies and regrets,

In the solitude that spoke a thousand words;

Those tears which melted the ice, reckless in the fortnight.

In the midst of reality, shattered dreams and betrayals,

Beliefs and burning desires standstill;

Wishful dreams, love and happiness still blossom, reckless in fortnight.

The shattered soul waits for dear ones,

Too much to say but hope is thin;

The thorns hurt but roses still spring, reckless in the fortnight.

~ From a Morning Person

I love sunsets but perhaps I am a sunrise person, For maybe the peace it has, For maybe the the way it gives birth to another day, For maybe its a start of new journey, For maybe it doesn't let us go back, For maybe its hues that color the soul, For maybe it can make us wanderers without feeling lost, For maybe it still holds the night's moon, For maybe it says sail away and discover yourself, For maybe it is a start of something new, For maybe it carries the beauty know one ever knew.


P.S: Written at dawn, on the rooftop with forever beautiful Karachi's wind.

Trouble Parents, Troubled Children

The six year old ran out of her parent’s room and hid behind the refrigerator so she could save herself from the view of her parents fighting. The scene was very disturbing; I could feel a heavy thud inside me. I walked to her, she looked at me with lost look, I bent down, smiled and held her hand and said: “Come on sweet heart, let’s go out and enjoy the party.”

Children who grow up watching their fight have an effect on their brain development. Medical reports also claim that even when a child is asleep it can absorb the negativity of people arguing and fighting. These effects are usually long lasting and can alter the way how the child looks up to matters in life.

Fighting parents end up giving an impression of fragile relationship and the child’s sense of security can be damaged. The child my doubt his parent’s abilities whether they’ll be able to take care of their child when they can’t seem to control themselves. In result the child will develop fear and anxiety as he will always be in doubt that there is no one to stand up for him.

In addition to this, fights and arguments between parents lead to guilt, shame and self-hatred as the child is unsure of the reason of arguments and may end up cursing himself for the fights. The child lets his imagination fill up the empty spaces.  In addition to that children also learn to respond the same way like his parents, in times of troubles the child may start throwing things or starts shouting because that’s how his parents deal with problems. Or the child may become extremely repressive with his feelings and end up getting hurt by loved ones.

No relations exist without conflicts but how to put an end to the conflict is what really matters. Parents should also learn how to deal with conflicts effectively. Parents who can control their heated behaviors and resolve the problem set healthy example for their children. Fighting the right way is what most of the parents need to learn.

Parents must understand that if they disagree on something than they should work it out instead of silent treatments as this creates more tension. If silence is followed the child himself fills the empty spaces, which can be more dangerous for his brain development. So parents should always let out their anger but in a civilized way.

Also learn to fight fair; parents must analyze what lead to the conflict, whose fault it was instead of blaming one another. Also they should avoid using foul words, display appropriate behavior and avoid using hands while arguing.

Having no conflicts and disagreements is not an option in life but parents need to teach their child through everything. If parents end their conflicts reasonably it can teach their children some worthy lessons too, most important being that even with disagreements and conflicts one can live together. Disagreements don’t mean ending the relations and the child grows up to that instead of taking wrong meanings out of conflicts.

In the era when freedom of choice and freedom of speech prevails, disagreements have become an integral part but working things out effectively is what everyone must learn, specially parents as they have responsibility towards their children too and to assure healthy development of the children, fighting the right way should be the main goal.